Weekly Briefing from the North Texas Apocalypse Bunker, 2/10/23
The slow, inexorable plod to the first corporate holiday of the year continues apace, and we here at the North Texas Apocalypse Bunker have elected to quietly, professionally, withdraw from its cephalopodan embrace. Human Resources made a quick visit to all of the relevant departments and the overall consensus was clear: 85% of the essential staff checked the box “Supremely confident of my relationship status” and so, we will be opting out of all state-sponsored activities in the name of True Love.
The sole dissenting opinion was the Division of K-9 Maintenance, who checked in box that she would require some assurances, and furthermore wrote in the “Additional Comments” box that, she was quite put out that there were no more pupperchinos and cheesey-cheese cubes in the daily treat rotation. Administration has scheduled a follow up meeting with DK-9 to explain again what “lactose intolerant” means, and also, why eye-watering flatulence and bloody stool in not a good lifestyle choice.
ZineQuest Kickstarters Part Deux
I’m going to confess something right now, and I can’t decide if I feel good about it, and if so, HOW good I feel about it, but...last weekend, Wizards started a full court press for their upcoming hardcover book, Keys from the Golden Vault. You may not have heard, but it’s a collection of heists for D&D...yeah. I know, this was probably started as soon as they got the final shooting script for the movie, which is about thieves who steal the wrong item and give it to a bad person, and then have to fix their mistake.
That being said...I’ll take the Pepsi challenge with any part of Keys From the Golden Vault, or anyone who worked on the book, in terms of knowledge of heists and capers, what goes into making one, what goes into running a game set in a City of Thieves, or a World of Thieves, or let’s just come out and say it, your own version of Sanctuary or Lankhmar, or Haven, or whatever else you want to include in that umbrella.
I have been developing this since (and I went back and did the math) 1998. It’s been worked on and utilized in several different genres. The first version was called T.R.U.E. Crime (the acronym was “The Roleplaying Universal Engine,” because that was what we did in the 1990s). For nearly twenty years, it was going to be a modern-day setting. When I included the first iteration of the Heist Generator in Modiphius’ Conan the Thief 2d20 sourcebook, that was a rules set that every reviewer remarked upon favorably. I’ve been actively writing and playtesting these rules in their current incarnation since 2018.
I’ve been getting a little sore at the ease with which Wizards of the Coast are going to throw this book out into the marketplace, and, if we’re looking at the last four, five, or six hardcover releases they’ve done, fouling the waters with a slipshod job and in doing so, and thus activating every single third party content creator on DMsGuild that hadn’t ever wanted to do a heist game before, but certainly are doing it now because that’s what the folks at the DMsGuild do—they spackle over the mistakes and ommissions of the main design team. WotC has all that money to throw at something—I mean, just look at the artwork for the book! Super high production values, sure, but if we’re using past transgressions as a yardstick for current work, it’s usually empty calories.
I wanted my heist rules and thief campaign options to have a fair shake. I’ve been working too hard on it, for too long. So…(and again, not sure if I’m proud of this or not), every time they dropped some pithy post about “thievery required, honor optional,” I scrolled down into the comments, where they were routinely being savaged by their former fanbase, and said. “I’m just going to leave this right here,” and then I posted a link to the Kickstarter. On a couple of threads, I added, “If you like the premise, but aren’t ready to spend money with the company just yet, here’s a indy creator third party option that’s got all of what you want and more,” followed by linkage.
Is this a sneak attack? A backstab for 3d6 extra damage? Am I kicking them when they’re down? Am I the asshole? Before you answer that, you should know...some of my pledges have come from those Twitter posts. I was already planning on slipstreaming their five-figure ad campaign anyway, surfing along behind them, but in the wake of what’s happened, I no longer feel the need to behave as if we’re in a gentlemen’s agreement, because they’ve made it clear we are not. Their target audience (on Twitter, which is its own digital killing floor to begin with) has been savage and unrelenting in their criticism and ongoing disdain for their tactics past and present. To my way of thinking, if I didn’t take the opportunity to market directly to their disgruntled masses, I’m leaving money on the table.
Feel free to comment below and tell me if I got it wrong, or if my scheme was brilliant guerilla marketing. I’ll listen and respond, either way.
If you’re not busy on a Friday Night, at 7 PM central, then you really ought to drop in on my live interview with Dave Townsend on his channel, Games with Dave. Click on the spiffy graphic below to go to a reminder page. No telling how long we’re going to talk, but we will be chopping it up, so please tune in (or—post the link for anyone you know who wants to run heists and capers in a fantasy setting but doesn’t want to buy WotC hardcovers right now).
In the meantime, here’s the link to Polite Society: the Zine for Thieves, Rogues, and Ne’er-Do-Wells currently hovering right at the halfway mark. The campaign continues its slow and steady climb towards funding, but I’ve got a big goal to hit, and I would really appreciate any signal boost you’d care to give my little passion project. If that means money, you are awesome. If that means sharing links to all of your D&D playing people, then you are differently awesome. Either way, I thank you sincerely.
And since you’re going to be heading over to Kickstarter anyway, please do me a favor and check out these worthy projects from my friends in the online Zine/RPG space.
My buddy Tim Sattley has been producing DCC and MCC zines and adventures that are full of snap, crackle and pop. His latest offering is Bad A$$ Bunnies, and it’s designed for Mutant Crawl Classics, but you can DCC it, too, because, why wouldn’t you? If you were ever a fan of Jaxxon in the Bronze Age Marvel Comics Star Wars comic books, then you need to back this zine immediately. I shouldn’t have to explain why.
Critical Hit Parader, by Matt Thompson, may well be the metal-old school fantasy gaming fusion zine we never knew we needed. It’s aimed at Dungeon Crawl Classics, but don’t let that stop you. He’s making in-game monsters and magic and set-pieces and more, based on the lyrics of classic 1970s and 1980s heavy metal. Dio? Sabbath?! Metallica? Shit, let’s do this! If this had been an actual magazine in 1984, I think my head would have exploded.
Alan Bahr is the big brain behind Gallant Knight Games, and this year he’s partnered with game designer and fellow Modiphius Conan 2d20 Alum Richard August to product a quartet of Legacy Zines—a Four Zine Bundle, designed to be embellished and personalized at the table during play, so that no two zines are alike. Well, I don’t know if it’s a genius idea or an excuse to sell 2 of each one to the collectors (one to scruff up, and one to keep in mint condition) but I don’t care. These two guys are smart and clever and I am happy to back this neat idea.
Knight Owl Publishing has a very successful zine for Old School Essentials that is thematic and full of good stuff. Old School and Cool #4 is the Undead issue, and frankly, it’s not a minute too soon. As a lifelong fan of the movie Jason and the Argonauts, let me assure you, you can’t have too many undead options in this or any fantasy rpg.
I’ve backed Absurdist Production’s previous Kickstarter, Transformation, and it was well worth it. They produce unique journaling/solo games, and Seven Murders Til Midnight is completely in my wheelhouse. I’m trying to cut down on these. You can see how well that’s working out for me.
Allessio Spalluto is an Italian game designer with a penchant for folklore. His zine La Masseria brings players right into those fascinating and mysterious stories, passed down orally in families of more than a century ago. Players will investigate the mysteries between what's real and what's superstition in a farmhouse in southern Italy.
Camille Longley is an author and a poet and she’s produced this gorgeous journaling game called Lampblack, wherein you create a creature out of ink. This is similar to Artefact or Bucket of Bolts, in that the game gives you prompts for you to answer, such as what’s driving you to animate an inkblot in the first place. The art for this zine is gorgeous, too. Check it out!
Mork Borg, that seemingly inexhaustible font of inspiration, has a new third-party wrinkle, thanks to Bloek Games, out of Denmark (the European market really seems to get the Mork Borg aesthetic in ways that we seem not to, don’t they?), and it’s all about GYGO—or, getting your goblin on. As someone who has written a giant-ass zine about goblins, I could not pass this up, even though it’s reeeeally stretching the definition of a “zine” by, you know, not being one. I don’t think anyone who backed and funded this project in the first hour it was live cares about that distinction at all. Look at Goblin Gonzo, why don’t you, and see if it’s not another must-have for you.
And Speaking of Mork Borg, Sharktopus Games has an adventure funding now called Ziggerat of the Blood God and if that don’t do it for you, then I question your old school status. It’s configured for Dungeon Crawl Classics, Old School Essentials, and Mork Borg, so you’ve got plenty of options while you decide what frpg is going to replace D&D at your table. I mean...Come On!
Finally, I don’t know these folks, but I read the description for Lordsworn and was more and more intrigued. It’s a GM-less game, rather like Fiasco or Microscope, but the scenario is broadly defined—soldiers returning home after the apocalypse—and it put me in the mindset of the Odyssey and the Argonautica, only from a fantasy standpoint. The resolution system uses 3d4 dice, which they have dubbed “Caltrop Core EX,” and yeah, I’m in. Bonus: I like the black and white artwork, too. Reminds me of Steve Lieber’s artwork from back in the day.
There’s still time to back these projects as well, in case you missed them last week. All are worthy and worth a click through.
Tales from the Smoking Wyrm #6
Post-Script
Amidst all of the chaos, I managed to grab lunch and a comic book run with an old friend, Kevin Freeman, who got trapped in Texas last week behind the polar vortex and had to extend his four day trip into a two week slog. The least I could do was buy him some fish and chips.
Speaking as someone who had the privilege of getting to play-test a little of this stuff, I am an eyewitness that it as cool AF.
You have no competition, as far as I’m concerned!
I had sworn off backing zines this month after already backing, um, an embarrassing number of them, but you got me to sign up for two more I had missed. Can't wait to see what sort of damage next week's report from the bunker does to my wallet! Have a great weekend!