Weekly Briefing from the North Texas Apocalypse Bunker, 7/4/25
Fireworks and Crystal Meth edition
I continue to be a man of two countries, splitting my time between the North Texas Apocalypse Bunker and the Central Texas Apocalypse Bunker Satellite Station as Bunker Ops continues to work on her new knee. She’ll have to traverse 28 concrete steps, no easy task, and she’s working hard to regain access to the NTAB. Her Physical Trainer heard about the amount of stairs she would need to ascend and descend daily, took a deep breath, and said, “Okay, so, it’s good to have goals...um...” This only strengthened her resolve. They are all very impressed with her leg extension ability. That’s my girl!
Independence Day, a Time for Quiet Reflection
The Agency of Broadcasting has informed me that its course of instructive and educational videos assembled by the Bureau of Special Projects is mandatory this week. Next week’s quiz will be all about the videos below.
Schoolhouse Rock remains a staple of GenX 1970s nostalgia. This was originally part of an attempt to impart some form of education, however rudimentary, to a generation of kids who were making their own cereal on Saturday mornings. Some of the Saturday morning fare, like the Super Friends and Fat Albert, had ‘messages’ in their stories that would later be reinforced in school during fourth and fifth grade social studies class. There were several series of animated shorts that made an effort to teach us how to be more self-reliant; basic first aid (Dr. Henry), money matters and consumerism (the Dough Nuts), and feeding yourself when both parents were on the swing shift (Time for Timer—a truly baffling creation).
But Schoolhouse Rock ruled the roost with catchy songs, lyrics you could sing along to, and talented musicians and singers (like jazz vocalist Blossom Dearie!) to deliver animated ditties that taught us multiplication, basic science, grammar and basic—very basic—US History. Did they conveniently forget to mention things like The Civil War? Well, yes, it was 1976, after all, the Bicentennial, and they were looking to celebrate the virtues of our great experiment, not give it a dressing-down. So some stuff got whitewashed, papered over, left out of the songs. If you’re writing a toe-tapper about all of the American (and otherwise) inventions that drove the American economy, there’s not any room in a three minute song about all of the shady shit Thomas Edison pulled.
Twenty years after the fact, we got the book Lies My Teacher Told Me and a few of us were stunned to learn that the simplistic, almost mythic way we were introduced to these ideas was, in fact, harmful to our development and didn’t serve us very well. I can’t speak for the rest of GenX, but my reaction to learning that the political situation surrounding the start of the American Revolution was a lot more complicated than “The King is being unfair!” was a well-rehearsed “Pfft. Figures. No duh. Tell me something I don’t know.”
Still, I appreciated being introduced to the rudiments of the larger discussion, for no other reason than it helped me to navigate some complicated political situations that arose in my formative years, like Watergate, the Energy Crisis, and later, the Iran-Contra scandal. I am pretty sure they wanted Schoolhouse Rock to be the start of a deeper exploration into these subjects, rather than the terminus.
I’m posting these again for your convenience. See, here’s the thing: I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. But there are two generations that didn’t grow up watching these cartoons and as a result, they may be a little confused at what’s coming out of Big Media these days (and I’m including Social Media under that awning). So, this weekend, if you see someone on one of your other online spaces that might need a refresher or two, drop these little gems into their comments. We’re in a closed ecosystem here. It’s time to take the wisdom out into the wasteland and commune with the raiders and the mutants.
Schoolhouse Rock: No More Kings is a broad overview of the things that led to the Revolution.
Schoolhouse Rock: The Shot Heard ‘Round the World is pure mythology, but harmless enough.
Schoolhouse Rock: Fireworks is here because it’s the Fourth of July, and while I am emphatically disapproving of 90% of what Your Political Heroes at both the state and federal level are doing, I am still proud (overall) of the history of this country. It ain’t perfect, but we still enjoy the privilege of being able to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s still not too late to right the ship.
Schoolhouse Rock: Three Ring Government bears repeated re-watching. Does anyone have a direct line into the White House?
Schoolhouse Rock: The Great American Melting Pot might well be triggering these days. Good.
Schoolhouse Rock: I’m Just a Bill is here for one Big reason, and another Beautiful reason. Probably good for a refresher, even if the process has become way more complicated. Maybe we can simplify it again?
And just for a palette cleanser, here’s Adam Conover explaining succinctly how Silicon Valley is making us stupid(er).
Finally, here’s a recommendation for you: If you are unfamiliar with James McMurtry, he’s the son of Larry “Lonesome Dove” McMurtry, and he’s an amazing songwriter. His new album is called The Black Dog and the Wandering Boy and it’s his best album since Childish Things. In fact, it feels somewhat like a direct sequel in some ways.
There’s a song on the album that you simply must listen to called “Sons of the Second Sons.” McMurtry doesn’t pull punches and he puts his point of view out there in plain language, artfully arranged. He’s an astute storyteller with an eye for truth, much like his father. Check him out, if you haven’t already. As a reward for reading through all of that, here’s one of his best songs that succinctly describes the tenor of the holiday, at least in North Texas.
Happy Independence Day, y’all. All’a y’all. Everyone. All of us.
Oh, and if you think you know what songs Blossom Dearie sang for Schoolhouse Rock, leave it in the comments!
"I'm just a Bill" had the wonderful Jack Sheldon doing the vocals (he was also the train in "Conjunction Junction"). I best remember him as the trumpet player in the Mort Lindsay orchestra on the Merv Griffin afternoon talk show, where he'd trade quips with Merv. He was also an actor, doing some Petticoat Junction, Dragnet, and an episode of Star Trek Next Gen.
Singing the preamble to the constitution song in my head got me an A on a test. :D