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Eli Frazier's avatar

Toilet Paper Rustlers

Back in 2020 at the height of supply chain shortages and COVID pandemic hoarding, I lived in Savannah, Georgia while attending SCAD for screenwriting. None of the supermarkets could keep toilet paper on the shelf. One day, I found a small stack on the shelf at the rich people’s store on Skidaway. I was stoked when I drove home with my purchase. I had the music on and the windows rolled down. But, when I brought my big package of TP in, my wife immediately ordered it returned. “What were you thinking getting lilac scented toilet paper” she waved. “It smells so bad!” After I showered and regrouped, the smell hit me fresh. It was terrible. When I drove back to the store with my receipt, the store manager informed me they had adopted new return policies on toilet paper and would not refund the purchase.

I was stunned and walked my grocery cart and TP back toward my car when it occurred to me that I couldn’t take the TP home. I left the cart and walked back to try and negotiate a trade for like goods. That also didn’t work. When I got back to the cart however, the unattended TP had been stollen. The cart was empty but my heart was full. Admittedly, it was a mixture of comic irony and spite that my heart was full of. I’m imagining the cycle of TP shunting continues.

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Brett Weaver's avatar

My friend Doug and I watched it last weekend, and I gotta tell you, I think it would be an amazing Broadway Musical! That main musical sequence about at the halfway point mesmerized!

I mean... if they can do it with Spiderman....

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Mark Finn's avatar

I think that was the heart of the movie and it really tied both halves of the story together. Glad you liked it, buddy.

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