Weekly Briefing from the North Texas Apocalypse Bunker, 6/6/25
The Dew is off the Orange edition
We would like to apologize for the public outburst between Administration and the Division of Media Review this week. Tempers have been running high for some time now and, despite several attempts at mediation, we have been unable to reach an accord in order to further our working relationship. Everyone here in the department are very sorry for the things we said over the PA system; we do not, for a fact, know anything about the marital status of any of the DMR’s parents. We were wrong to suggest that they might be better off in another bunker, perhaps in another state, where we wouldn’t have to look at their stupid faces anymore. We also formally take back the suggestion that they are better suited for lawn care and tending to the vegetable garden, where their bullshit would be more useful. This was not okay. We’re all better than that. To the DMR, we are sorry. Truly.
Now, then...do you have something you’d like to say to us?
In Memorium: Jonathan Joss (1965-2025)
Everyone here at the bunker was shocked and angered by the senseless murder of Jonathan Joss, best known for his portrayal of John Redcorn on the Texas Real-Life Documentary series King of the Hill and his brief but hilarious turn as Chief Ken Hotate on Parks and Recreation. Details are few and contradictory, and it seems that the incident has brought a lot of grievances, old and new, to the fore. His husband is calling his murder a hate crime, and there’s some push back on that from the San Antonio PD.
I don’t know if we’ll ever get the whole story, because it sounds complicated, but it’s a side note to the fact that he was shot on the ruins of his home, which burned to the ground in January of this year. The fire also killed the couple’s three dogs. I mean, there’s no way to not see this as tragic and sad. Our hearts are broken and we join the citizens of Arlen, Texas, Pawnee, Indiana, the Wamapoke nation, and all of Joss’ fans and family in mourning his untimely passing. He will be missed.
Podcast Notice from the Agency of Broadcasting
For those of you who might not know what a “monster kid” is, it refers to the generation of kids from the late 1950s to the early 1970s who watched Universal Monster movies on the Late Show on Saturday nights, built Aurora model kids, and read horror comics and magazines like Famous Monsters of Filmland. Late baby boomers and early GenXers, for the most part. It was a time unlike any other if you were a fan of horror movies, EC comics, and the like.
I mention this because I was recently on an episode of Bride of the Monster Kid Radio with friend of the bunker Derek Koch to talk about American Werewolf in London (not strictly speaking an eligible movie for the criteria, but we persevered nicely). It was a great conversation and we have talked about doing it again soon. If you’re a fan of David “I’m a Pepper” Naughton and if you know who Rick Baker is, I think you might like this episode: Bride of Monster Kid Radio #028 - An American Werewolf in London with Mark Finn
Agency of Health and Wellness Update: Bionic Knee Number One
After six full months of doctor’s visits, shots, scans, and an appalling amount of waiting for the other Insurance Shoe to drop, the first of two knee replacement surgeries for the head of Bunker Operations is scheduled for later this month.
It’s an amazing thing that this surgery was once so radical, and is now considered so routine, nearly blasé, because they are going to shear off parts of her leg bones, reshape them with files and a belt sander, and then attach an adamantium endoskeletal hinge to both ends, creating a new, dynamic knee that can kick straight through a ninja’s chest armor. That’s what I heard, anyway, when they were talking. I zoned out for a bit. But that she’ll only stay one night in the hospital and thereafter will be somewhat forced to walk around on it until it sets right, I guess.
The doctors have been very nice and happy to explain everything in detail, and they have all been quite frank about how much it will suck for the first two to three weeks. After that, though, they said, it'll get better each day. We are currently assessing what needs to happen with the Administration Staff here at the N.T.A.B. which currently sits about forty feet above ground, accessible via two sets of industrial grade concrete stairs. One solution being seriously considered is that Bunker Ops will retire to the Satellite Office in Waco, which has no stairs, and is a lot easier to get around in, and I will become a citizen of two nations, driving back and forth until such time as Janice is able to climb stairs without screaming in pain. Whatever we decide, look to the weekly update to stay in the loop.
Weekly Report from the N.T.A.B. Division of Media Review
Note: the staff here in the DMR is busy playing catch-up with various shows and series. And no, we don’t have anything more to add at this time. If Administration wants a detailed review, they can ask for it using normal channels. This isn’t rocket science. Nor is it an electric car. Or cryptocurrency. Or a Large Language Model we're choosing to call "A.I." We will be professional as long as they are professional.
Severance Season 2 (Apple)
After watching Season 1 and wishing I’d taken notes, we waited until the entire season dropped in order to watch it more closely. I’m consistently amazed at how Apple has quietly become the best place to find science fiction in the streaming system. This show is multi-layered and while the first season was a scathing indictment of mega-corporate culture, season two feels like a Harlan Ellison story he’d have written as a tribute to Theodore Sturgeon and Phillip K. Dick. Identity and the concept of self are core themes, but this season had a lot more emotional grit to it. I think we’re good for one more season to wrap it all up. It doesn’t need more than that. I don’t know if anyone can hear me, but please don’t kill this incredible story by overdoing it.
Leverage: Redemption (Prime)
Speaking of taking the piss out of cultural institutions, Leverage continues its avowed intention of sticking to as many of The Man as possible. The necessary pivots away from the previous series and cast have settled in, now, and everyone knows their role. The stories this season have been “ripped from the headlines,” featuring mostly corporate techbros and their satellite scumbags as the villains, a thing that engenders zero sympathy for them as they lose all of their money through cat burglary and Krav Maga. I’m glad it drops at the end of the week, after the news cycle has run amok on my digestive system. This show is like a soothing bromo seltzer for that sour feeling in my stomach.
Please don't call me a bastard. My parents don't know.
Who’s having surgery?? That’s not where you said we were going!!!