Weekly Report from the N.T.A.B. Division of Media Review
Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 3/ Ghosted/Citadel
Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 3 (in theaters) Adam Warlock crashes into Knowhere, looking for payback (from the beginning of Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2, way back in 2017, remember?) and does a real number on the place, including critically injuring one of the beloved Guardians, and this is the nugget around which the movie proceeds.
These days, it’s nice when a movie series within a franchise manages to stick the landing with its third and presumably final offering. James Gunn’s swan song does not disappoint...well, not in a traditional sense. The story is good, the character arc continues apace, and everyone is back doing the thing you love to see them doing when they are doing stuff like punching and kicking. That being said, this script feels like Gunn swept up every stray Lego in the playroom to build his farewell tour with, and if a Duplo block or a few Playmobile bits and bobs ended up in the mix, so be it.
The actor playing Adam Warlock, Will Poulter, was last seen by me in 2013’s We’re the Millers as the goofy kid Jason Sudeikis hires to pretend to be his son for a drug run to Mexico. Poulter more or less ran away with the movie with his dorky mugging, and so it doesn’t matter how shredded he got for the part he played in a major MCU film, every time I saw him, I flashed to him rapping in the RV and it completely spoiled his turn as “the Warlock” for me. Aside from that admittedly personal glitch, the movie delivered the feels and the sniffles and didn’t try to steer into the expected “happily ever after” ending—all the better to make more money down the road, of course, if there’s still some hanging threads out there. Fans of the first two movies will not want to miss it.
Ghosted (Apple) Chris Evans meets an intriguing young woman at the Farmer’s Market, and on a whim, follows her to London after she seemingly “ghosts” him. It turns out, there’s a good reason for the ghosting—she’s a spy! And this drags Chris Evans, who’s never had an adventure in his life, for a thrill-packed...*sigh* I’m sorry. I can’t do this.
Ghosted had all the makings of one of those meet-cute farcical comedies with lots of “fish out of water” moments during the insane action that make you laugh out loud, including a decent script. Unfortunately, the entire time I was watching it, I was staring at Chris Evans, flailing around in a not-fight, and losing his balance on a careening bus, thinking, “Uh, what’s the problem here, Cap? This ain’t your first rodeo. Take over and punch something.”
I’ve seen Evans in other movies before and since Captain America and the MCU. And I’ve seen him be delightful in movies like Knives Out. But this? High speed action sequences? Paired beside a beautiful super spy? Sporting Cap’s Infinity War beard? Sorry, bud. I know you produced this, but you should have stayed out of the way. If you’re going to branch out, then branch all the way out. I’ve got too many stored up images of you handling guns and punching Hydra goons to think for one second that you couldn’t have taken out every single bad guy pointed at you in this movie.
Now...having said all of that...if you loved Chris Evans as Captain America in the MCU, you need to watch this movie for the cameos. That’s it. That’s all I’m going to say. There are some delightful surprises—make that, the highlights—of this movie. Your mileage may vary on how much or little it impacts your enjoyment, but it wasn’t quite enough for me to overcome my unwilling suspension of disbelief.
Citadel (Amazon Prime) And speaking of Captain America: Winter Soldier, the Russo Brothers must be missing the MCU something fierce. They are back in super spy territory, seemingly scratching the S.H.I.E.L.D. itch (and who can blame them—there wasn’t enough to go around) and taking out every single super spy plot device ever devised to create an Uber-Superspy Series that is trying to out Kingsman the Kingsmen and make The Man from U.N.C.L.E. holler “Uncle!”
Richard Maddon is one of a pair of super-secret agents who survive the near-total destruction of their global spy network. With his memory gone, he finds himself pulled back into the fight when the bad guys get their hands on a briefcase full of secrets. Priyanka Chopra (Nick Jonas’ wife) and Stanley Tucci co-star.
Robb Stark, shaved and stuffed into a tux, bears a more than passing resemblance to Sebastian Stan, which actually worked pretty well for this. Stanley Tucci is great (is he ever not great?) and I’ve never seen Chopra before now, but I want to state for the record that she’s a bad ass who holds her own admirably and Nick Jonas is a very lucky man.
Citadel is a six episode show, with three eps out as of this writing. The pacing is brisk and it’s full of all that kind of high tech derring-do that you expect out of spy thrillers. Lots of twists and turns, and the bad guys are named “Manticore.” If that’s not doing it for you, right there, then you are not the target audience for this action fest.
Hmm. I was wondering about Citadel-sounds like it's worth giving a look. And having seen Evans being diabolical in a pornstash, I am willing to give Ghosted a shot as well. I am...surprisingly on the fence about GoTG 3-I had the same reservation about Poulter's casting, but in light of what I just said about Ghosted, *Shrug*. (Speaking of pornstashes, I will be interested in seeing what, if anything, you have to say about White House Plumbers.
Do you remember a very short lived series called "Spy Game"? The reviews today reminded me of that show but I've never met anyone else who has ever seen it. Linden Ashby (the original cinematic Johnny Cage) starred. It was kind of a wanna-be American "Avengers" (the British spy series). It even had Patrick Macnee guest star a few times.