Weekly Briefing from the North Texas Apocalypse Bunker, 4/25/25
“I Got the Pope Right Here” edition
This week’s rundown will commence after a heartfelt message to the Catholic Leadership currently wrestling with the burden of choosing a spiritual successor to saddle up in the flowing robes of the Pope. This is important, so please pay close attention.
Pick me!
I really think I can do a better job than most of the historical popes, including at least one or two in my own lifetime. That’s not to say this last one was all that bad, but then again, you needed a course correction, now, didn’t you? That’s why I’m throwing my fez into the ring. I may not know the ins and outs of your particular organization, but I do have a much more highly developed moral compass (in that I actually have one) than the other candidates and I also take ethics and scruples very seriously. I am mentioning this up front since it hasn’t seemed to be much of a priority for your organization. It wasn’t on the list of job requirements.
I mean, I’m sure not perfect, and in this respect, I feel I would fit right in with the rest of your upper management. Just don’t dismiss it out of hand, okay? I really think I can bring some new energy to the church. Maybe update the doctrine a bit? Less pronouncements, more acts of service? That kind of thing.
In House: Polite Society #3
Some of you may recall that I occasionally write things and sell them for money. Here’s a project I’ve been on for a while now—too long, in fact. I’m trying to finish it up. This is a tabletop role-playing game zine intended for 5e/d20 style D&D esque games called Polite Society, and it’s all about playing thieves, rogues, and, well, you can see the cover for yourself.
This weekend will find me stuffing these little boogers into rigid mailers and dropping them in the mail on Monday. Kickstarter backers from Texas will likely get them the next day.
I love working on rpg writing and designing new things for these games. It’s an old hobby of mine, going back forty years, and I’ve really enjoyed publishing these zines. I’ve made great pains to improve my graphic design and layout skillsets in order to make better zines and books that look good and read well. I can personally see my own development in this area, which is really fulfilling to me. I’ve even gotten some positive reviews and feedback on my work done in this strange space.
What I have come to really hate is running Kickstarters. I mean, I can’t stand doing it. It’s an encapsulation of everything I hate about sales and marketing, made worse by the gamification of the whole process. At least insofar as trying to fund a game goes, It’s become a slog as you try to keep interest high by tap dancing as quietly as you can on that steel-plated floor. It’s a thirty day torture device, designed to both prove to your prospective backers that you do, really, truly, deeply, CARE about this, so much so that you’re willing to throw whatever sticks to the wall in the hopes of enticing them to agree to buy your book or zine or comic or whatever you’re selling. It’s also the best way to doubt yourself and develop a truly impressive stomach ulcer as you watch the red line of progress stop moving on its own after a week’s time and then doing not much of anything until the last 48 hours when it jumps back to life. Only then, at the end, do you know if you’re even going to fund your project or not.
Unless, of course, you are one of the Not-Small Small Presses who use Kickstarter to generate seed money and set a print run based on the performance of the campaign. These are the ones you hear about, the campaigns that fund in seconds and go on to raise a million dollars or more. That’s still a lot of money, which is why those projects seem to always merit a press release.
I don’t think these publishers should be using Kickstarter, but that’s neither here nor there. The ongoing situation with Canada and China is about to do a number of offset book printing, and we’re going to be struggling to figure out how to publishing without perishing.
My answer, at least right now, is to use DriveThruRPG. They are the de facto online print on demand publisher for the gaming industry and they do good work. I’ve used them before to publish game books with no issues or complaints. I’m going with them because when you make a listing for a physical books, it is listed automatically with all of the other DriveThruRPG sites in other countries. It’s just a pdf, after all.
But when you order my book and you live in Australia, the book isn’t printed in America and schlepped over for many times the cost of what it took to print it. It’s printed in Australia, and shipped via their normal postal system. What that means is, anyone anywhere can order the book and it is printed and delivered locally rather than as international or air mail. Huge savings in postage, obviously. Anyway.
If you would like to check out the things I have for sale on DriveThruRPG, you can click here and see my stuff under the Human Gorilla Creations imprint.
Weekly Report from the N.T.A.B. Division of Media Review
Note: we are very excited about some current and upcoming movies in theaters, but at the express directive of Administration, we will hold back some of those reviews for two weeks, to allow people the chance to catch the movie in the wild, as God intended. If you have any questions about said films, leave us a comment and we will endeavor to get you a prompt answer.
The Rehearsal (HBO)
Nathan Fielder stars in this reality series where he tries to offset his awkward personality by creating an analog alternate reality to help people practice, or “rehearse,” their awkward situations in the hopes of being better at life.
I had to look this guy Fielder up. He’s apparently very well thought of, if you like cringe-inducing shows that live in the awkward and uncomfortable spaces of modern life, like having to deal with any other human beings. Smooth interactions with his fellow homo sapiens is apparently Fielder’s Kryptonite. And thanks to a couple of earlier successes with shows like The Curse, he’s parlayed his own immersion therapy into a television series that HBO footed the bill for. Nice work if you can get it.
Both HBO and Fielding calls this a “comedy show,” but I want to say for the record that this is not very funny. It’s jaw-dropping, and horrible in that “can’t look away” kind of way, and there’s certainly some uncomfortable titters that you need to offset the pressure of watching this show. But it’s not a comedy, not even a black comedy.
If The Rehearsal is anything, it’s an unintentional satire of a giant swath of the American people, masquerading as reality television, only no one is in on the joke. This show crosses some serious boundaries, and moreover, it’s boundaries the people signed up for having violated. It’s baffling to me, because the kind of social engineering he’s trying to pull off is equal parts ambitious caper or heist, coupled with a cognitive behavioral therapy session. If that’s your jam—watching people without a full set of social skills try to be humans in front of a camera—then you’re going to love this show.
For me, it was like watching a redneck Fourth of July fireworks show. There were flares going off left and right. Serious cries for help. Pathological delusions that were never really addressed. Just Nate himself, looking baffled and out of place in every scene as he attempts to “game” social interactions by repeating the video game level, studying the pattern, so he can clear the board with minimal losses. Or whatever metaphor you’d like to use for someone who recreates physical reality with actors and sets and costumes and (this is important) Cold War bush league Soviet Psy-Op experiments.
I’m not sure what I find more disturbing; that he’s trying to figure out the best way forward, or that so many people seem to be lacking in these really basic building blocks for a grown-up adult. It’s hard to watch, especially when he tries to correct some errors by re-simulating his meta-experience to try and improve his ability to recognize what he’s doing wrong and find a way to empathize with the people he’s putting through the ringer.
I mean, if you like this kind of thing, I hope you check it out. But all it made me do is shout at the television. The Rehearsal isn’t fun television for me, and I’m not quite sure if your mileage will vary all that much. There’s only one episode in Season 2, so if you’re interested, try the first three episodes of Season 1. Or, if you know that you have had enough of crisis porn for the sake of crisis porn, you can skip this show, no matter how many times the app recommends it for you.
I apologize about Mr. Fielder on behalf of Canada, since he got his start here doing sketch comedy bits not unlike what he's doing now, but funnier.
As far as becoming the Pope is concerned, sod off. I almost joined the priesthood 40 years ago, and I'm certain that there's an alternate quantum pocket out there where the me that made so many better decisions is just a few votes away from becoming Pope Boomhauer I. Give it to HIM.