Weekly Briefing from the North Texas Apocalypse Bunker, 07/19/24
Hi Bob edition
News of the tragedy has just reached the Administrator’s office and I feel compelled to say something about it. Bob Newhart was a comedian’s comedian. That’s not to say that people who aren’t writers and comedians can’t appreciate him, but if you have any idea what exactly Newhart did and how he did it, you know that he was a genius. No one, and I mean no one, could imitate his sense of comedic timing. That’s why he was never imitated. You can’t do it. That nervous stammer, the bone-dry delivery that borders on arid, and a cascading premise that is equal parts understated to the point of absurdity. It's incredible that he could make so much out of the simple premise of having a one-sided conversation, either on the telephone or with a wonderful pantomime that not only fixed in your mind who he was talking to, but what they were saying.
And how many people get to be the focus of not one but two wildly popular sitcoms? The guy was a legend in both the 1970s and the 1980s. I was too young to really appreciate the Bob Newhart Show, but I was all in for Newhart. You can still make Larry, Darrell and Darrell references and people in their 40s and up will smile and nod. That show didn’t have a dud in it—and oh my god, the season finale? Legendary. Easily in the top three greatest endings to a tv series of all time. I will brook no dissent on this.
Youngers only know him from Elf and The Big Bang Theory, but he was coasting on a legendary career that was multi-generational. I would start smiling whenever I saw him. He never failed to make me laugh, sometimes, so hard that milk would squirt out of my nose. No, no, I hadn’t been drinking milk, that’s why it was so, so, um...well, alarming. See? I can’t do it. No one could do it like Newhart. He was beloved and had an enviable career. We are poorer for his passing. Rest in Peace, Bob. And thank you for all of the belly laughs.
This is one of my favorite routines, which I shouldn’t have to justify to any of you: King Kong, and this one is another classic that plays even better in the here and now: Gettysburg PR.
A Quick PSA from the Department of Administration’s Agency of Health and Wellness
For those of you who vividly remember the years 2017 – 2021: you need to start practicing self-care, daily, right now. Don’t wait until November to start. Don’t think you’re any tougher now than you were seven years ago: you’re not. It’s worse. Take a damn shower. Brush your teeth. Run a comb through your hair. Meditate. Read a book. Do some yoga. Bake bread. I don’t know what all you did, and it doesn’t matter. Just get your eyes away from a screen, stop doomscrolling, and drink a goddamn glass of water.
You’re no good to us freaked out, on increased meds, and screaming at everyone about everything. If you need to journal, then go buy a new pen and have at it. If you have to indulge in questionable behavior, pick and OCD activity that at least benefits you in some way, like washing all of the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Get into a routine and stick to it. You can’t control what’s happening on the world stage. But you can change your underwear. Do what you can, for yourself. Take deep breaths and wait for the time when you can do more. I repeat: you’re no good to us if you’re in a constant state of agitation.
Except for the King Kong bit, I didn't really appreciate Bob Newhart until the pandemic gave me an excuse to watch the Bob Newhart Show. To everyone who's watching For All Mankind, Hi, Bob.